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FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIP
I didn't have my first adult friendship until I began to understand what friendship is all about. Prior to 1997, many people had befriended me, including mentors, teachers and co-workers. I just didn't know how to befriend them back.
Intimate relationships take a special kind of work that's an extension of friendship-formation skills. In this department, I'm still at a hit and miss stage. I've had them. I've lost them. At the age of 63, and much earlier, really, I'm not too old, but after awhile....Well, you know what I mean. I'm not working that hard at attracting a mate, but I'd love one to fall into my life. For now, that's a level of really hard work I say I don't have time for any more. But the older I get, I'm not so sure about that.
Misdirected energy is one of our bugaboos. I'm not as materialistic as I once was, mainly because my limited income has forced an attitude change towards surrounding myself with things However, once an occasional chunk of change comes my way, I still seem to be impulsive and improvident about the way I squander it. That's a money management issue, and I've always had the challenge. I have learned about not getting too deeply in debt. Maybe now it's time I learn about a positive type of indebtedness that keeps giving rather than making one feel increasingly impoverished. I'm finally at the point where I've realized that being surrounded by things isn't as important as being involved in relationships. And relationships take a special kind of expenditure -- an investment, really.
I urge understanding and acceptance by both sides of the friendship/intimate relationship partnership. Any more than one person in the room, and you have a social situation. I try to keep it simple. For the moment, let's just try the one/other person dyad.
That's what I try to get at in the articles in this part of the web site.
Each article title, below, is a link to the writing. Place your mouse anywhere on the title, and VOILA!
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Early Thoughts on
Friendship -- 1998
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Friendships -- The File Card Box as a Metaphor
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How Far to Push?
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Odd Choices when
Partners can't read your Mind
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Partnership, Communication and Asperger Syndrome
